To Live or Die

Everything was touch and go for quite some time. When she was about 5 days old ultrasounds of her brain showed that she'd had a brain hemorrhage. They rank them from a Grade I (mild) to Grade IV (severe). Hers was a Grade III. This had to have been the single hardest day of my life. The doctor came to us and told us that between how severely early she was and now the hemorrhage her quality of life would be nothing. She would never walk or talk and would have to be put in an institution. She would basically be a vegetable. At this point we may want to consider turning off the life support.

How on earth do you make a decision like this? Unfortunately, I know that people are having to do this on a daily basis but at 20 years old it was nothing I had ever dreamed I would be doing. In my naive world I had no clue that NICU's existed or that babies were born premature. It was overwhelming and such a blur. I remember gathering our families together in a little room and talking it through. In the end we decided that quality of life was what you make it and we couldn't stop life support. I think that to date, this was my ultimate low with her and believe me we have since seen and been through alot...but this was my low point... to live or die...