Development Outside of the Womb

Looking back, 13 years later, once you get past the trauma and the shock of everything, one amazing thing to watch was her physical development. When she was born both of her eyes were still fused shut. One opened 2 weeks after she was born and the other opened about 2 weeks after that. Her ears were perfectly round and about the size of a dime but there was no flap of skin there or lobes. She had no eyelashes, eyebrows or finger/toe nails. Over the next several weeks/months we watched these things slowly develop.

Size Comparison

I love these 2 pictures of Bryttaney because they really show the size comparison. The snowman is about 4 inches tall. The lamb is one of those wrist rattles that you velcro on a babies wrist so they can entertain themselves. That little lambs head is almost 1/2 the size of Bryttaney and could have been velcroed around her waist.

She is almost 2 weeks old here. She is laying under the purple bili lights, which helps her body break down the biliruben so she doesn't become jaundice because her liver couldn't do it for her.

Skin to Skin

From that first hold we jumped right into skin to skin, also known as Kangaroo Care. The research on this is amazing http://www.prematurity.org/baby/kangaroo.html. Skin to skin is when you strip the baby down to just a diaper and place them on your chest inside your shirt and just hold them for hours. The link above list all the wonderful benefits on it. Once we were given the okay to do skin to skin we set up a schedule. Everyday Brytt got skin to skin with someone in our family for a minimum of 1 hour twice a day. Usually Robin or I would be there Sundays which were his days off from work. Then we would go back home and my mom would do Monday and Tuesday days, my mother in law or aunt would do Monday nights. I would come back and do Tuesday nights, Wednesday & Thursday afternoon and night then go home Friday and my mom, mother in law, aunts or cousins would take care of her until we got back on Sunday and started it over again. I loved doing the nights because it was so quiet in the NICU and I would hold her from shift change at 8:00pm until 2 or 3 in the morning.

First Cuddling...

came when she was 13 days old and how sweet it was. It was so hard leaving the hospital without a baby. It was hard not being able to hold her. So when my mom and I went in on December 8th and they asked me if I wanted to hold her it was the most amazing thing. Up until now she was on a special vent called an oscilator, which was way more easier on fragile preemie lungs then a traditional vent. Although it was possible to hold her while on the oscilator, it was difficult and she was still so fragile. But once she was on the regular vent it was easier to move her. It seemed to take forever to just get her ready. You have to unhook this, move that, tape this down. Bundle her in warmed blankets because she couldn't maintain her body temperature on her own and we were taking her off the warming table. Then when they moved her they had to take her off the life support for a few seconds.


I didn't get to hold her for very long but it was oh so worth it!

How tiny is 1 pound 3 ounces...

It is the hardest thing to imagine. You would think that you get it but then when you saw her she was even smaller then that. At 11.5 inches long she was the exact same length as a Barbie doll. Robins wedding ring could be slid up her arm to her arm pit, she was that thin. They took a preemie diaper, cut it into 4th and then just layed her on top of it. It was many months before a preemie diaper even came close to fitting her.

The Vicious Cycle

It was such a frustrating cycle: She can't breath on her own so needs the vent, but because her lungs have not developed the vent will trash her lungs, because her lungs are now trashed she is more dependant on the vent. She needs more oxygen because of the lung damage and immaturity but that will damage her eyes and hearing. The steroids help her lungs but lower her immune system so that she catches every little bug easier. Everything they did seemed to fix one thing but cause a problem somewhere else...

My 1st Week Struggle...

The first week after Brytt was born Robin was able to take off and spend at the hospital with me. That was such a blessing. I don't know why but that first week I could not stand to be in the NICU for very long. Poor Robin. He would sit in there forever and I couldn't. I would sit in there for about 15 minutes and that's all I could take. I would then go sit out in the waiting room by myself for hours then go back in for 15 minutes. I just couldn't do it.

After that first week, Robin had to go back to work and I knew that I would have to do better. It was like someone turning on a switch. After that, I had no problems being in there. I could sit there for hours and be fine. I don't know what my hang up was that first week. I don't know if it was the shock, the not knowing, all the equipment or that I just felt in the way. But mostly you feel so helpless. Thankfully I got over that pretty fast...